the hook-up culture at dear old Bowdoin

Yeah, I know that this has been discussed ad nauseum, ad infinitum; however, I don’t think it’s been properly discussed by someone who is not completely entrenched in the hook-up culture of Bowdoin. If you know me personally, you’d be surprised to hear me say this. Yes, I am a regular on the hook-up scene—I like to go out, I like to have fun, and yes, sometimes that means hook-up—but it’s also very strange to me. I come from a big city, and things are very different there. In my high school, it was all about relationships—who’s dating who, etc, etc. When I got here I was completely taken with the hook-up culture—like, shit, I can hook up with most anyone, every weekend! And believe me; I have taken advantage of that. There’s down sides to this too, though. So I guess this is my little disclaimer to the new students or to those of us less entrenched in this culture, or anyone really.

1. Don’t think you won’t ever get emotionally attached.
The cardinal rule of the hook-up culture is basically to just fuck, or make out and not have any feelings about it the next day. While this is can be the case, hook-ups, especially (as many are on this lovely campus) drunken ones, will leave you feeling something for the other person the next day—it might be lust, love, or even complete disgust, but it will be something. Yeah, you might have just ended up in bed with some dude or some girl just because you “wanted some”, but after you spend the night in each others arms and have the obligatory awkward moment (morning sesh or not, this will happen on your first time with someone new), you will wonder if it meant something more, or if it could be something more. You will also probably act as though this is not the case, even with your closest friends—it’s just what we believe we should do. Yes, even the “bros” feel like this, even though you’d have to have them by the balls to get them to admit it.

2. Be careful with how many people you hook up with (and who those people are).
Bowdoin is a fucking TINY place, and all of its students (myself included) love to gossip. The unavoidable topic of Sunday brunch is and will always be who hooked up with whom the night before. That and who was the biggest shitshow. Yeah, maybe we are all catty bitches at heart, but to be honest; these are pretty wonderful topics to help everyone through their hangovers. In short, tales of your weekend escapades will most definitely be told. Maybe your partner in them won’t be the culprit, but (for the most part) we all live with other people who would absolutely love to tell the story of you emerging from Crack at noon wearing some dudes pinney with your mascara running oh-so flatteringly down your cheek. I mean, really, that is undeniably quality stuff (P.S. If this is you, bravo!) So watch it. I’m not by any means telling you not to take advantage of the hook-up scene—shit, I have had many a good weekend thanks to it—but I am telling you to be careful. The more you sleep around, the more people will talk. Though I’m not by any means saying it’s right, people will judge your actions, and you’ll most likely find yourself with a shitty reputation (and since you’re going to be here for four years, this is definitely not something you want).

3. Stay in control.
I know the feeling of finishing your week on Thursday or Friday and just wanting to let loose. You emerge from your life-force-sucking Calc class, breathe in the crisp Maine air, and picture the handle of Five O’Clock under your bed; grinning at the prospect of your impending, deliciously intoxicated night of revelry. Yes, getting trashed is fun. However getting so trashed that you do something stupid (i.e. sleep with someone so unappealing you’d rather jump off the Tower than even touch, wake up naked on the quad, come to with an IV in your arm in Parkview, get arrested by the lovely Brunswick PD, etc), is not fun. I’ve had some shitty nights, and they’ve all been because I haven’t been smart enough to cut myself off. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get drunk, I’m saying you shouldn’t let yourself get to the point where you can’t make it out of your pregame sesh. So watch out for yourself and your friends; we all want to make it to the party.
Additionally, do not hook-up with someone who’s clearly so shitfaced they will not remember any of it in the morning. They might not tell you so, but it’s not a good feeling to wake up naked in someone’s bed you do not remember meeting. We don’t need anymore creeps at Bowdoin, so just don’t do it.

4. Be careful.
As everyone saw earlier this year, as a campus we are hugely susceptible to communicable disease, which is just me being fancy about Swine Flu. Watch who you’re hooking up with; if they have a hacking cough, continuously runny nose, pink-eye, oral herpes, etc, you probably do not want to be hitting that. Also, not everyone is having sex, but if you are, use protection. No one wants any baby Bowdoinites.
Watch out for the creepers too—we’ve definitely got our share.


Now all this shit probably seems like a horror story, but really our hook-up scene is far from all bad. So incoming firsties, everyone else, enjoy it! When we’re in the real world (a.k.a. not Bowdoin), we’ll have to do weird shit like go on dates (the horror!) to get some. Ouch.

Love.

Disclaimer: I’m not saying everyone drinks and fucks around at Bowdoin, but let’s be straight, it’s a good majority of us. Anyone who doesn’t definitely deserves props, snaps, or whatever you call them.
Also, I don’t condone Five O’Clock. That shit is foul.